Introductory paragraphs
Here are five common types of introductory paragraphs. Although most follow the “funnel shape” we discussed of starting off with broader statements and leading into more specific ones, some of these do not. All of them lead up to the thesis statement.
Standard opening
This opening paragraph starts with a broad statement and then proceeds to make narrowed and more specific statements, leading up to the narrow thesis.
The environment is the world around us, and everyone agrees it needs a cleaning. Big corporations gobble up the countryside and disgorge what's left into the breeze and streams. Big trucks rumble by, trailing their fumes. Everyone calls for massive action, and then tosses away a cigarette butt or gum wrapper. The world around us is also a sidewalk, a lawn, a lounge, a hallway, the room right here. But some people need strong incentive to keep their space clean. Anti-littering laws should be strongly enforced in order to remind people that a clean environment begins with personal responsibility.
Anecdotes
This introduction relates an incident that demonstrates or exemplifies the thesis. The anecdote or story is usually brief, feels informal, and leads up to the thesis.
Thelma Gray and Lucy Taylor, both fifteen years old and known for their adventurous spirits, said goodbye to their mothers on a sunny morning in May 1976 and set out for the bus stop on the corner. They had been invited to a picnic and swimming party at a park a few miles away. Clutching their bathing suits and beach towels, they hurried toward a fun-filled day in the sun. Thelma and Lucy, however, never reached the park. By nightfall their bodies had been found besides a seldom-used road in an isolated part of town. Reconstructing the girls’ last day, police determined that they were two more on a growing list of girls who had decided to hitchhike and who paid the ultimate price for it. People who accept rides with strangers run the risk of losing their lives, even when they take precautions.
Comparisons and Contrasts
This type of introduction relies on basing the first paragraph on a comparison or contrast in order to make an idea more understandable or interesting to the average reader.
Most people assume that learning to ski is not extremely difficult. They imagine the process consists of little more than strapping on two long boards, pushing off the top of a hill, and gliding gracefully and effortlessly to the bottom. After all, gravity does all the work, doesn’t it? In addition, those who have not skied often draw a connection to the times when they were young and sat on a sled or a garbage can top and then went schussing down a hill. Finally, you get to have a lift take you back to the top at he end of your run – simple, no? Learning to ski, however, is more difficult than people realize, requiring long hours of practice, extremely good physical condition, and a lot of determination.
There is something simple and majestic about seeing pictures of natural moons or satellites as they orbit a planet. Each has its own personality, based on its shape, size, and distance from the planet. But moons do more than just float with little effort around a planet; they influence the conditions on their larger master, despite their relatively puny stature. Think of a big, fat man trying to dance a Viennese waltz with a skinny girl: that’s something akin to the effect moons have on the planets they orbit.
Description
This introduction relies on physical description of a person, place, or situation to draw the reader in. Once the reader is in, the thesis clarifies the point of the description.
It is easy to pick Curtis Wilkie out of the lunchtime crew at the Class Reunion. It is easy because everyone else in this small, cluttered Washington reporters’ bar had access that morning to a tie rack, steam iron, and some decent clothing. But look at Curtis: the shirt that seems made of wrinkles, the jacket that hangs too big on him, the shoes with heels worn down. The other journalists have been around a long time and are starting to make a decent salary – enough money to afford tailored shirts and a good meal. Rookie reporters, however, make preposterously low money and work incredible hours just to keep their jobs.
Startling statement
A strongly worded factual statement or an interesting and different quotation start the paragraph and lead the reader to the thesis.
If you haven’t picked up that violin by age thirteen and expect to become a virtuoso, forget about it. Brain research now reveals that the neural networks of violin prodigies older than 13 cannot catch up in complexity to those prodigies who started at an earlier age. [A few more sentences here…] Potential prodigies should be identified and encouraged at a very early age in the fields of music, art, and athletics.
Gun legislation is dead for another year. As a result, if statistics are any guide, there's every likelihood that a lot of people now living will also be dead before the year is over. There's no point in citing those statistics again; they may prove something, but they're not likely to prompt any concrete action. What is needed to produce results is passion -- and that's where the antigun-control lobby has it all over the rest of us. Those who favor stronger gun control legislation can't hold a candle to the lovers of gun when it comes to zeal.
Basic essay structure
When teachers talk about the basic five-paragraph essay, they do not mean that all good essays are only five paragraphs or that this is the only way to develop an essay. But learning the structure of the five-paragraph will help you write longer papers and give you a structure to fall back on. Longer essays are often just expanded versions of the five-paragraph essay.
The three sections of the basic essay are the opening paragraph, the body or supporting paragraphs, and the concluding paragraph.
Opening paragraph
The key in the opening paragraph is your thesis statement. A thesis statement is the anchor around which your essay is developed; it tells the reader what the paper is about and what your perspective on the topic will be. A strong thesis statement has two parts: a specific manageable topic and your perspective on that topic. A thesis should be debatable. (“Columbus sailed in 1492” is not a thesis.) It is almost impossible to write a good essay with a weak thesis statement; a poor thesis practically dooms your paper.
Let’s look at some sample thesis statements:
 | Soccer is an interesting game. (Not a good thesis statement. First, it’s not a particularly compelling statement – it doesn’t make you want to read on. Second, it’s too broad – could you fully cover this topic in just a few paragraphs? Third, your feelings aren’t clear because the word “interesting” is so vague.) |
| Boo Radley is an important character in To Kill a Mockingbird. (Not a very good thesis. It doesn’t say much except that he’s an important character, which is kind of obvious. Whoopdedoo. There’s also no sense of “you” behind this thesis.) A better thesis along these lines might be this: Even though he is a bizarre loner, Boo Radley helps Scout and Jem mature more than some of the more normal people in town. Why is this a better thesis? |
| By focusing only on hits and runs, most people miss the crucial strategies and battle plans when they watch a baseball game. (A good thesis. First, it’s specific enough to be covered in an essay. Second, there is a point of view: the words “most people miss” imply that the writer thinks people are missing out on something important. The writer has a point of view. Third, phrases such as “crucial strategies” and “battle plans” draw the reader in.) |
A typical place for a thesis statement is the last sentence in the first paragraph. The first paragraph should start with broader ideas and eventually narrow to the thesis statement. Think of the first paragraph as a funnel, from broad to narrow. By ending with the thesis, your reader is catapulted into the body of the essay.
Body or supporting paragraphs
The thesis statement states what your case is going to be, like a lawyer’s opening remarks to the jury. The body of the paragraph is where you make your case, and the success or failure of your case depends on the evidence you use.
Each supporting paragraph is designed to support your thesis. The basic way to develop each supporting paragraph is to begin with a topic sentence. The topic sentence relates back to the thesis and explains the evidence in the supporting paragraph. Then you go on to gives details, examples, and supporting evidence. Generally, the more details and the better you explain your details, the stronger your essay will be. Let’s use the baseball thesis we just had to develop a supporting paragraph:
One area people tend to ignore when they watch a baseball game is the stance of the batter at the plate. Different types of stances influence not only where the batter wants the ball to go, but the way the pitcher will pitch to him. Classic hitters are often home-run hitters, and they tend to stand straight up in the batter’s box. “Spray” hitters, such as Rod Carew, are looking to just make contact and tend to hit singles for a high most pitches. Aggressive hitters like Rickey Henderson crowd the plate in order to throw the pitcher off and draw lots of walks. Pitchers, in turn, like Roger Clemens, may try to throw in tight to aggressive hitters in order to get them off the plate.
Notice a few things:
| The topic sentence clearly relates to the thesis, but also indicates what this paragraph will be about. |
| The details support the topic sentence. |
| The more specifics and examples you can use, the stronger you point is. You come across more as an authority. |
| Explain your details; don’t just list them. |
Think of yourself as a lawyer in a courtroom. The more evidence you present, the stronger your case is. Don’t be afraid to add more details and more examples.
The topic sentence does not have to go at the beginning of the paragraph, but it is usually the most effective (and simplest) place to put it.
Arrange your body paragraphs in order of increasing interest or increasing importance. Why? If you put your strongest or most interesting evidence at the end, you leave your reader with a sense of how persuasive you are.
Closing paragraph
The closing paragraph takes the opposite structure of the opening. It begins with a restatement of the thesis (not in the same words, of course), and then develops into broader ideas. It is an upside-down funnel. Like the closing statement of a lawyer in a courtroom, it expresses the main idea again (the thesis), but said in light of all the evidence that has been presented. So here is a possible closing paragraph for our baseball thesis:
Who would have known that there was so much happening in a baseball game beyond a pitcher pitching and a batter batting? If you think about the stances of the batter at the plate, the third-base coach conveying signs to a hitter like a general on the hill, and the defense shifting in the field in response to particular hitters, you can see some of the strategy at work. There’s almost a little war going on down there on the field, and the soldiers are trying to get an edge before the battle. The next time we’re in the stands, we can feel like spectators of some great enterprise – while we’re eating a hot dog.
Notice that the first sentence brings us back to the original thesis. After that, we move from some of the specifics mentioned in the essay to larger ideas. Finish with broader implications or humorous ideas, in keeping with the tone of the essay.
To recap:
| The opening paragraph moves from broader ideas and finishes with the thesis. |
| A thesis should be narrow and arguable, so that it presents a point of view. |
| A thesis should be expressed strongly, to provoke interest. |
| A thesis is the anchor of your entire essay. |
| Supporting paragraphs are the body or your essay. They should contain a topic sentence that relates to the thesis and sets up some proof or evidence. |
| The more details and examples you use to support your topic sentence, the better. |
| Your closing paragraph begins with a restatement (of sorts) of your thesis, and builds out to broader ideas. |
How to write a strong essay in 10 simple rules
Presumably, you are familiar with basic essay structure. Let’s now look at how to fine-tune your essay and make your writing stronger. We’ll discuss some problems that can weaken your writing, as well as how to correct those mistakes.
1. Get the Right Attitude
One of the easiest things in the world to spot is a paper where the writer does not believe in his or her essay. Even though you have to write the paper, develop an attitude where you believe in what you write. Find a thesis that will interest you and attack that thesis with all your might.
2. Know Your Audience
Write for a mixed group of reasonable and intelligent people. Don’t write down to your audience, and don’t write for graduate school. Find the right tone for the particular essay topic (Somber? Humorous? Persuasive? Reasonable? Sarcastic? Concerned? Informal?)
3. Come Across as Strong and Authoritative
Even if you don’t consider yourself an expert on your topic or thesis, you need to come across with a strong voice, as someone who is convincing and who has done his or her research. In other words, in terms of your voice, it’s better to be assertive and wrong than to be right but meek and hesitant. Again, think of the lawyer in the courtroom. (Of course, you’re going to have to back up that attitude in the body of the essay.)
While it’s fine to use “I” in your papers, it’s better to reserve that for personal experiences you are discussing (“I once witnessed an accident...”). Look at these two sentences and tell me which sounds stronger:
“Hamlet is the greatest play ever written.”
“I think Hamlet is the greatest play ever written.”
They both mean the same thing; “I think” is implied in the first statement. But the first statement comes off as more authoritative. Try to avoid such phrases as “I think,” “I feel,” or “I believe” (“I feel that handguns should be banned” vs. “Handguns should be banned”).
4. Do an outline
Do not underestimate the value of an outline. An outline helps you organize your thoughts, lets you see the direction and flow of your essay, and ensures that you will include sufficient details in each section of your paper. Professional writers and teachers make an outline before writing papers – why shouldn’t you? An outline is your road map that keeps you from getting lost.
5. Use details, examples, and quotations to prove your point.
The best essays include lots of details and examples from a variety of sources. Go beyond the Internet. Go beyond just a couple of examples. If you’re analyzing a work of literature, use details and quotations from the text. Explain the significance of the examples you use – show that you know why you’re including that example. The details are the meat and potatoes of your essay.
6. Anticipate counter-arguments and dispose of them.
If you know that there would be counter-arguments to your position (say you are taking a stand on an issue), the best defense is a good offense. As well as stating the case for your side cogently, you should refute the major arguments of the other side (with examples and details). Not only does that make your side more convincing, but it shows that you have thoroughly thought through all sides of the issue.
7. Use transitional phrases
Help your reader follow the threads of your thought. Transitional phrases are like bread crumbs on the floor of the forest: they help the reader to follow and connect the trails that make up your essay. Look at section 108 in Write for College. Use these words, particularly in topic sentences and when you introduce examples and details. There’s no use having good ideas if your reader can’t follow what you are saying.
8. Genius comes in the second draft
Few of us are inspired sufficiently so that the first draft of an essay is pure gold. Do a first draft early, and put it away for a few days. Then look at it with fresh eyes. Change phrases that are awkward; add more details to bolster your arguments. Let someone objective read and give you feedback on your first draft. If you are not willing to make changes in your writing in the second draft, your writing will not get better.
9. Proofread over and over
Why ruin a thoughtful essay with poor grammar, poor spelling, poor punctuation? You might not think it’s a big deal, but, believe me, it is a big deal. It’s like having a gorgeous car with lots of little dents all over it.
10. Fall back on the basic rules and structure
· A strong thesis is the anchor of the essay
· Spend time on a creative and appealing opening paragraph.
· Details, examples, quotations, support
· A strong concluding paragraph